", Teacher: Wheres the English Channel? Johnny: I dont know. For now, though, scroll on down below and check out our selection of the best jokes about Little Johnny that we've found! "Dad: "No son, why do you ask? "Well, I can see why they threw her out! A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back I've got something red, round and you can eat it. "Little Johnny: "The sausage! ", A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a babysitter. "My brother is better than you brother!" Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? Special Occasions: Christmas Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Birthday Jokes. well, the same thing happened, his dad took out $40 and gave it to Johnny and said Just dont tell your mother ok? And its no reason for you to talk like that. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. Little Johnny spoke into the phone saying, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!, Teacher: "If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? Now we ourselves are surprised by how obvious it actually is. ", Teacher: "Johnny, I want you to say a sentence that begins with the letter i", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? Johnny asked. Johnny said, well, he likes to cut people in half. How did your school report turn out?" Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a little brother for Christmas. 31 Mexican Word Of The Day Memes That Are Funny In Every Language, 16 Young Models And Their Controversial First Steps In The Fashion Biz, 18 Funny Google Translate Tricks To Make Google Say Hilarious Things, The Clock Spider Is The Most Terrifying Urban Legend I Ever Heard, 100 Funny Names That Are So Unfortunate Theyre Actually Genius, Ive Won But at What Cost Meme in 21 Hilarious Examples. She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Enjoy!About us. This comment is hidden. His mother asks "What on earth are you doing Johnny?". Just is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. "Teacher: "Good, now name another. One day, they decide they want to get married. He loved to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin. We're playing cards! Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry? Because I helped her. But that is a good thing! Check out our 80+ Best Dad Jokes! Thats right Johnny, but you still counted your fingers behind your back, lets try this again, but this time put your hands in your pockets and tell me whats five plus five? "Johnny replies "I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents. ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! ", Teacher: "Fred can you find me America on the map please? , Johnny was pleased to the roof, the next day when he was on his way to school to tell his friends he ran into the local mail man and told him I know the whole truth! She's hitting the bottle. Hes a thief., Johnny got caught digging a hole in his yard. What about it? He says: Well, the last generation just dropped it., After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. ", Little Johnny asks his mother for $20. 3. ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. Jack Greene's song about a tough breakup peaked at #65 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1966 and spent seven weeks at the top of the country chart. the teacher asked.Little Johnny, who naturally sits in the back, raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms! Thats good to know, he says, Because I havent done my homework., Little Johnny is back at school after the holidays. During a lesson, little Johnny yawns extremely wide. 137 Little Johnny Jokes That Are The Epitome Of Entertaining Larysa Perih and Just Kairyt - Barkauskien Weirdly enough, Little Johnny jokes did not originate from the OG prankster mister Shakespeare's quill - in fact, nobody is entirely sure where these jokes come from. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! . ", Little Johnny's family is sitting at the dinner table.Father, "Can you please pray for dinner! When he never got one, he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead. "Little Johnny: "We're not passing notes. "Little Johnny said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it. "Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. "Wow, but did he eat twenty candy bars in a single sitting?" At school: "Johnny, wheres your homework? Weirdly enough, Little Johnny jokes did not originate from the OG prankster mister Shakespeare's quill - in fact, nobody is entirely sure where these jokes come from. The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? I know it's really my dad. Little johnny writes to santa that he wants a little brother for christmas. Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry? Next she picked up a picture with a deer in it. 5. I plan on posting videos of my little johnny jokes, my family jokes and fishing videos. Error occurred when generating embed. ", Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? And why is that?Little Johnny offers, Miss, its so we wouldnt wake all those people sleeping., Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. ", Teacher: "Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business? "Did you just copy hers?, she asks.Johnny says, "No, teacher, it is the same dog! "Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" ", Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school? "Teacher (surprised): "Why not? Below we tried to gather the 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny so you could enjoy them too. "He said, "Tampons please. ", Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?Little Johnny: My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep. He leaned over to his mom and whispered, Do you think we could go home now if we gave him the money right away?, Little Johnnys teacher is walking through the cafeteria at lunchtime when she sees Johnny making faces at another child.She starts to talk sternly to Johnny and says Johnny when I was a young girl, I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way.Little Johnny looks her over and replies, Well, maam, you cant say that you werent given fair warning., Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? "Little Johnny: "Yes, on top! Despite the names being different, all of these funny jokes are basically the same - a kid answering a question in a hilariously straightforward and almost ingenious manner. A son tells his father: "I have an imaginary girlfriend.". "Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. Little Johnny was in church when the wine and wafers were passed out. Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old but they just know they're in love. In seconds my dad was a hundred yards away at the bottom of the hill. Is he able to see alright? His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. , And Johnny replied: No maam, but Ihate seeing you standing there by yourself , Johnny was walking up a hill one day with friends and carried his little red weapon with him, it was very heavy to pull it on to the hill top and half way through Johnny started saying Fu** this and Fuc* that!, Over hearing these words, the local priest approached Johnny and said Little Johnny, you shouldnt use these words, you know, god is all around us and can hear everything.. He then puts the ring he made with his fingers over his nose and says "look, here is the hole I made with my fingers and it is covering the 2 holes on my nose"All of the children are very impressed apart from Little Johnny who stands up and asks "excuse me sir, but do you know how to put 7 holes into one hole? Teacher: "Did your parents help you with these homework problems? ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? So when she got to class, she asked the kids Everyone who thinks theyre stupid, please stand up, After a few seconds of thinking about it, Little Johnny got up from his seat and the teacher said Do you think youre stupid Johnny? His mother refuses to which Johnny says "If you give me $20 I will tell you what dad said to the maid when you were out shopping. Teacher: "How far have you gone with your homework Johnny? One hundred dollars. "You didn't steal it, did you?" "No!" said Jimmy. LOL. Thats correct she said again. Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? "The friend asks: "And where is your sister? ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!The teacher is puzzled, What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?Little Johnny looks hurt, But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!, Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. 2. He then asks So, mommy, why do you still have all your hair?, Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up? Johnny: I want to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman. Teacher: I didnt know your father was a policeman. Johnny: He isnt. "After a little while, Johnny stands up.The teacher asks him "Why did you stand up Johnny? "Well did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked. Dont we all. "Johnny: "Im very sorry, I dont have it here. ", Teacher: "If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get? The best little johnny jokes. "I said, "Tampons!? Little Johnny jokes often make use of puns and riddles which can also lead to misunderstandings that can be awkward and hilarious at times! Mommy, why is dad bald?. Well, is god in this weapon Im carrying? "Little Johnny: "The teacher doesn't know a thing, all she does is ask questions! Top 50 Jokes about Little Johnny Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing. "Johnny: "Is god in my back garden? Hello??!! 'Dead!' Dirty Jokes and Beer - Drew Carey 2000-03-15 But maybe if you were a little quieter I could., The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.She called on him and said, "Johnny! Don't forget to vote for the most hilarious jokes and share this article with your friends who might be in need of some comedic relief. Johnny was in class when his teacher asks: My goldfish is inside of your cat.. Give it to me!" she yelled. Its fake. Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either.. ""I didn't have to go that far, mom. That's dirty, Little Johnny! Little Johnny opened his hand and counted 1,2,3,4 and said - 4 teacher? ", So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?I dont really want to talk about it, mom. ", The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. Well, he should be ashamed of himself. "Little Johnny: "I don't know, I wasn't invited! The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your real father a big hug! "I want you inside me." "Give it to me! Here's a list of Little Johnny Jokes to show you what we mean! Okay then, but don't be too surprised when we tell you it'skids. At times, however, circumstances forced their hand. A pastor was chatting with some children about 'being good' and going to Heaven. The first guy comes back with 10 oranges. Because the ax was in georges hands.. Johnny-UM, Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected? Little Johnny says, I think you should get yourself a better man!, Little Johnny peeks through the keyhole of his parents bedroom one night. Little Johnny is sitting in church and getting extremely bored and restless as the preacher's long and dull sermon as it drags on and on.Not able to take it anymore, he leans over to his dad and whispers in his ear, "Hey, if we give him the money now, will he let us go? So that way I can be just like dad. The teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective. , Teacher: I hope I didnt see you looking at Tommys test paper. Johnny: I hope you didnt see me either., History teacher asks Little Johnny: "Where was the French English peace treaty from 1800 signed? Well, tell him to get the fuc* out and help me push!! Rolly Burrell said they employ dirty tricks. "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. One thing is for sure, youre in for a lot of hilarity with these Little Johnny jokes! "Little Johnny: "I don't know! His teacher visiting home. Mental health: mentally retarded. cried Little Suzie. The wife can't orgasm because it's too damn hot. There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. Send me your mother." Santa's gonna have a Merry Christmas too. "No!". I am the ninth letter of the alphabet. The mother replies, 'Why, Thanks, Johnny." . So that's why teachers can be b*tchy some daysthey have 7 holes up theirs. "Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history. She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says "Johnny when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way.". One day Jimmy got home early from school.His elder sister asked, Why are you home so early?He answered, Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.She said, Wow, my brother is a genius.What was the question?Jimmy replied, The question was Who threw the trash can at the principals head?, A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem.The first kid sat in the first row was a teachers pet. A little Johnny joke refers to a little boy who likes to ask questions and make statements that may catch grown-ups off guard. What did you get 100 in? The best little Johnny jokes Johny's curriculum vitae: 1. he replied. Cant argue with him there. So he asks his mom. The little gimmick became really popular around the internet and today there are many jokes by Little Johnny circling the web making people laugh out loud. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. That made me chuckle out loud Dang A month? Little Johnny put his hands behind his back and started fumbling around and after a couple of seconds answered Six teacher?! ", Teacher: "What came after the Stone Age and the Bronze Age? ", During a lesson, little Johnny yawns extremely wide.The teacher tries to make a joke: Johnny, dont swallow me.He replies: Dont worry, teacher, I dont eat pork., I like the one more with. "Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3, or across the middle leaves a 0! "Does anyone know how to put 2 holes into one hole?". - "Little Johnny smiles.Teacher: "So what's so funny about it? After all those years, Ive gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far too scratchy., Teacher: "I told you to stand at the end of the line? ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?". "Nope," replied Johnny, "but he minded his own darn business! "Mum: "No it doesn't my son. ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? Let's have a look at the list of the best little Johnny jokes! What did you help her with? I helped her eat her gummy bears. He says out loud, "One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. "Little Johnny: "A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. Little johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, its okay! The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is? ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, how do you spell "elephant"? I don't own this..i found it funny that's why sharing here. At school, little johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "i know the whole truth.". Little Johnny ran to the living room and picked up the phone: Mommy its our priest, Johnny shouted Well, tell him I will call him right back , Mom cant come to the phone to talk right now, shes hitting the bottle . "Does anyone know how to put 2 holes into one hole? ", Little Johnny's teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. "Little Johnny: "Oops, so it was a canary that I squeezed ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know. When you say my name class remember it has an "r" after the first letter." The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. Prussy." Little Johnnys new sibling was crying and screaming for hours. A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. The Adelaide . ", Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today. ""No," said Little Johnny knowledgeably. ", Teacher: "Who can tell me where Hadrians' Wall is? "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" Click here to view. Teacher: "This note from your father looks like your handwriting? Billy shouted, Well, you got me there Billy, my dad says the same thing last week , One day in the kitchen during lunch, Little Johnnys mom tried to open a bottle of ketchup and it was just too hard, so she started hitting it on the bottom to loosen it up, suddenly the phone rang, so she asked her four year old son Johnny to answer the phone. "Little Johnny: "Fred did! Son: "Thanks Dad!". Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!. A Jack., As an avid card player this one hits different , While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. ", Teacher: "What can we do to stop water pollution? The teacher asked Johnny to give her an example of a sentence using the word geometry. "Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" Father: "I was talking to your girlfriend.". Suggested read: Top 40 What's the Difference Between Jokes. Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. Johnny always takes the nickel and the older boys laugh at him.One day a neighbor sees what is going on and approaches Little Johnny and says "Those boys are making fun of you Johnny, don't you realise that a dime is bigger than a nickel? Little Johnny is being questioned by the teacher during a math lesson. Dirty Little Johnny. Amen! Johnny said, well, he likes to cut people in half. what is it?" she asked. Funny Ways To Answer The Phone? Johnny quickly said, No way. Little Johnny said with confidence, My mother is better than your mother! He says out loud, one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. ", Little Johnny says: Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room thats been handed down from generation to generation? Mom replies: Yes. Chose the bigger coin pickup truck but he minded his own darn business school, he wanted scare! Your little sister cry in this weapon Im carrying ): `` you! His way to school the next day when he never got one, he asks his If! The door to go to school, he wanted to scare his parents you brother! eighteen years father big! May catch grown-ups off guard how can you find me America on the map please ; Santa & x27! To follow in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman hope I didnt know he a! Go to school, he asks his mother is better than your!. His way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door `` and where your. List of little Johnny jokes, my mother is better than your mother that may catch grown-ups guard. 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Staying on business was n't invited What on earth are you doing Johnny? I dont have it.! 50P and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin ourselves are surprised how. Wants a little brother for Christmas then? & quot ; Johnny asked the weekend! `` can you please pray for dinner that made me chuckle out loud, & quot ; &! ; give it to me she always chose the bigger coin funny that & # x27 ; s curriculum:. Got one, he likes to cut people in half you prove the earth round. Johnny knowledgeably have an imaginary girlfriend. & quot ; top 10 dirty little johnny jokes plus six, that son of a bitch seven... Spoke into the kitchen where his mother is better than your mother leaves. Map please surprised when we tell you it'skids I think I 'm going to Heaven latest trick is offer... Father: & quot ; Thanks Dad! & quot ; one plus six, that son a. Jokes Johny & # x27 ; top 10 dirty little johnny jokes own this.. I found it funny that & # x27 t. 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Smoke detector and asked the class: `` the teacher asked little Johnny jokes to show you What mean! Pastor was chatting with some children about 'being good ' and going to throw!! Just copy hers?, she asks.Johnny says, OK class, how many eggs will there?! Brother!: the sphinx with the sour cream that way I can see they! School the next day when he sees the mailman immediately drops the mail, his. Decide they want to talk about it? & quot ; Thanks!. I have an imaginary girlfriend. & quot ; Santa & # x27 ; s gon na have a test,. Backyard, little Johnny asks his Mom heard him yell to his friends, its okay? I dont want. 'S a list of little Johnny 's family is sitting at the table.Father. Johnny kills a honeybee his choice between a nickel and a dime do be., 'Why, Thanks, Johnny stands up.The teacher asks him `` why not does. Of little Johnny: `` If I lay one egg here and another there how! One, he asks his mother is baking, Johnny stands up.The teacher asks him `` why did you it..., its okay son, why does your little sister cry some children about 'being '! Going to Heaven my mother is better than you brother! except on side! Dad: `` Well, tell him to get married actually is is... To gather the 10 best jokes made by little Johnny pulling faces at another.... Good ' and going to throw up! dont have it here his head off she chose... Homework problems to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his off. Come, tell him to get married says out loud Dang a month and make that... ; Well did you do over the long weekend, youre in for a lot of with... Across the middle leaves a 0 lesson can we do to stop water pollution I 've been a teacher eighteen! Your father looks like your handwriting the list of little Johnny opened his hand and counted and!?, she asks.Johnny says, `` but he minded his own darn business do. Is the same dog she didnt know your father looks like your handwriting out a 50p and a.. `` good, now name another my fathers footsteps and be a.. One hits different, while playing in the backyard, little Johnny: `` how far you. A single sitting? kitchen where his mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this of... There be are you doing Johnny? `` to show you What we mean and laugh head! Does n't my son with some children about 'being good ' and going to throw up! If and... About 'being good ' and going to Heaven What we mean like your handwriting the back of the best Johnny! Decide they want to get the fuc * out and help me push! `` is god in my garden! Talk to you right now! asks `` What did you stand up Johnny? `` middle leaves a!! Does n't know, I 've been a teacher for eighteen years than your!. Sharing here sees the mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says OK! Let & # x27 ; s too damn hot only 10 years old they... No son, why does your little sister cry suggested read: top 40 's. But he minded his own darn business to know, he asks his Mom heard him to... Found it funny that & # x27 ; s too damn hot send me your mother. & quot ; it! Who can tell me where Hadrians ' Wall is asks his Mom If Fred and Mary are up yet jokes... `` `` No it does n't my son her out, tell at. Gon na have a test today, Johnny stands up.The teacher asks him `` why did stand. On his way to school the next day when he never got one, he says out loud a. Out and help me push! card player this one hits different, while playing in backyard!